Wednesday, 31 December 2008

Enter The New Year!

It's the time to reflect on what you achieved in 2008, and what maybe you did not. That's fine, it's life and we just have to make the best of now. So here are my goals for 2009 (not resolutions)
Train my writing craft for the future.
cherish my family more than ever before (friends too)
Fitness, running, skipping.
More flexibility for my martial arts training.
Continue my Kung Fu and Karate training.
Weapons improvements, Nunchakus/staff (bo)/Escrima/Sai's
Basically total body conditioning so I am fit for my life ahead.
Whatever you have as goals or aims in 2009, just build a bit at a time and you will soon have your castle. Be patient with your self but disciplined, nature takes time to shed skins so your armour will be tougher than before. Then you may sit here this time next year and smile.
Happy new year!

Monday, 22 December 2008

I have an insecure jealous side?

I thought I was wiser with age, that the Scorpio in me was tamed. I understand now that like the moon resting along the current of the river, it can become bumpy and settle once more. I accept my flaws and get over my resent of these powerful feelings that hound me. I protect myself and fear hurt and rejection, I need to roll with the punches more and just grow up.
I find peace and inner solace in helping others, I'm a listener and a giver. I enjoy having fun and being silly. I look at life through my eyes, and now I understand that whether good or bad that I feel and experience...I am me through and through.

Saturday, 20 December 2008

Spiritual feelings...a third eye?

I wonder if they can feel what I feel when I'm thinking my thoughts? I doubt it, not the shallow ones who are loud and arrogant. I have a deep thinking nature and I enjoy meeting people along the same plane of thought. Respectful, thoughtful and fun. You can't beat just been plain daft, but you must possess the humour to go there...the third eye. We exist in space, where time is here and not. We take everything for granted, me included. I have always had a way in which I cant seem to relate to people who have no imagination, I call these people Goonies. The Goonies are not below me or me above them and I'm wrong in labelling them like this, but interacting with some people you feel like your the only one until you click with other people and then get on wicked. The trees, sky, and birds are watching us...dare you watch them back, dare you feel the wind from the mountains where the Falcon soars? Dare you just have the courage to be yourself? Me too, I'm trying to become braver every day...wish me luck.

Mickey Finn & his amazing friends

My choice of music is varied. I feel a sense of passion as I relate to 60's-70's and 80's, with hip hop playing a huge part of my being. I respect the art form of creative craft, but nothing compares to my childhood of growing up in the 90's. For that I'd like to thank D.J Mickey Finn, plus countless others. My reason is this-
Growing up with my close friends was a roller coaster due to family troubles and the easy thing to do was just pop on your headphones and escape. We would collect flyer's from M.C Lenni and buy tapes from the raves with our paper money, Sir Michael of the Finns was our favourite D.J. He always ripped it up and put a smile on your face, so as time moves on I am older and still pleased to see my idols still 'killing it' Fantazia NYE will be great, Mickey's there at the Que Club. I often wonder though, behind the cheering clouds and the feeling of fun, do the D.J's actually know that they may have just saved a child's life?

Saturday, 13 December 2008

The worker at midnight

He glares into his PC monitor, eyes red and tired. He gives his all and fights through the lethargy that is pulling his last reserves of the imagination from him. He needs to do this, for a better future...because it's who he is. It's tough and sometimes the ideas are distantly extinct like a fossils slowly unearthing deep inside the writers mind. He views things as a people watcher, logging and always observing. He is silently nosey and at the same time respectful, he loses his ego to become a transport sponge so to carry his characters to his novel, or story. He writes in his blog questioning if anyone really cars or reads his work. It's good for him, self therapy. The journal keeps him venting and learning, past the iron gates of dimness he searches for a brighter tomorrow and survives outside of time and people. He walks among them but never really feels with them. Why is this? He is lazy but hard working. Another cup of tea passes his dry lips and tastes like luxury, caffeine fuels his journey into the midnight hour. His fingers begin to ache as he types what shoots through his mind, thoughts from anywhere speeding past like a runaway train. It's easier to write in the dark.
I can pluck the concepts more easily now, I check the time on the bottom right hand corner of my monitor.
it's 12:00.

When things go wrong

Lately things have gone wrong. Even though some of them are minor I still get mad and moan about them, giving my worries over to negative energy. This in turn drains me and makes me unbearable to be around. So I take a moment to breath the life force around my veins, my state settles and my training serves me eventually. I have a long way to go before I'm where I want, I must accept there's life and life is here to test us all. I look at the poorly people on the news and realise over my ignorance that all my worries are invisible to the matter. Now when I lose something or something breaks, I will try my best to accept the occurrence and deal with the situation in the calmest possible way. If only I wasn't human!

Monday, 8 December 2008

Winter Darts Training, I'm ready!

I'm looking forwards to breaking up and having the 'break'. Well my break will be like any ones...enjoying films, food n drink, family friends...and hard training! I have chance to catch up with my Karate Kata's and Kung Fu. I'll run up hills, stretch and perform calisthenics. Ill squeeze out isometrics and perform dynamic tension until my body looks and feels better. I'll relax with some 80's films. And...who knows!!!


'Me and you against the world.
Us vs them.
We will love each other till are last days on earth.
After our life, we as angels will go on.
Like doves we will fly together.
I'm so happy to have you in my life.

I Love You...

'I mean it so I say it, not always.
I act first and regret later.
I am full on, my passion is too much.
I am distant but close.
I am cold but loving.
I make you laugh, and cry.
I keep messing up only to say sorry.
I think I'm the best, but fail to ever be perfect.
I'm complex but simple.
I love you, that's for sure.'

Sunday, 7 December 2008

She Loves Me

She looks me in the eye like no other has ever done before.
I feel her radiant respect for my well being.
I shudder at her very touch and smell, and marvel at her beauty.
She knows me so well, better than I thought.
She puts her self out for me and accepts me for who I am.
I improve under her love for me.
I want to look after her forever and protect her from the storms.
I honour her life and the joy it has brought me.
We stand alone in this busy world.
She completes my life line and helps me become a father, lover and husband.
I'm luckier than a lucky man.
I don't deserve such a lady.
I need to try more.
I love you.

Wednesday, 3 December 2008

A Way Of Life

I was watching a programme about the monks at the Shoalin Temple yesterday. What really stood out to me was not their years of accumulated psycho training, but their dedication, patience and focus. Developing these qualities will help us all to become better people. It does'nt matter what we are involved in, it's the way we conduct ourselves in society. Meeting new people you can make a good impression because it's human nature for others to judge and make their own minds up about you, wrong or right. But, only you know you, you owe yourself so much respect it's silly. By respecting yourself and then others, you will come across people with the same thoughts or interests. This is called bonding (making friends). I know the shoalin monks have all their waking lives to train and improve, but so do we. The only difference is that our lifestyle doesn't consist of a huge temple in which to practice. But it does if we treat ourselves as the temple...

Monday, 1 December 2008

Getting back into shape

You've had it with trying to be tough and brave, struggling to cut out the 'bad foods'? Finding it difficult with motivation or time to exercise? Solution to the first half is quite simply this...
1) Have a little of what you want, but not to much. Adjust the balance and you will enjoy your food without putting pressure on yourself.
2) Just a little activity which doesn't need to be athlete level and moderate eating will keep the fat monster at bay, and help you to breath better too.
Eat small regular meals, mainly of the good things which you already know. But have what you want also but don't make them the bulk of your intake. (I love cookies)
Take a walk, stairs instead of the lift. Don't be lazy, park your car further away too. When waiting for the kettle to boil slowly press your self up and down on the kitchen side like a push up-aim for 10. When the breaks come on your soaps just raise your knees to your chest-aim for 10.
This is just a basic start for people who are really struggling with weight issues. Some of you may already be fit. The only thing to bear in mind here is that if you don't make the change now...who will?
Also, deep breathing can help too.
Until next time - peace.

Sunday, 30 November 2008

Rusty Nails

'Don't become a rusty nail stuck in ways in which are snails,
deep down you will prevail,
like the lonely ship that must set sail.
You were born to gleam, but you seem to lack steam which in turn means that your soul must try to redeem.
With that gone you have to forge on, your the only one and your life's your own, so make a throne for your grand self to own!'

Friday, 28 November 2008

We've got the whole world in our hands

Someone close to me recently was taken ill into hospital. As I sat there rethinking over previous losses in my family I didn't want to be here, nobody does. I took a good look at all the poorly people in the wards and the lack of NHS support nowadays, me like many was frightened and anxious for a loved one. (Spend the lottery on that instead?) As a spiritual type of guy I got thinking about how happy I am to have started training in the martial arts and even though I still get flu's etc I know I'm doing myself more good than harm. I thought about the human body and about how if you treat it right it will bring you many pleasures. If you mistreat it, it can bring you pain. Pain is what I was witnessing in this place, pain. The only lift of relief is knowing that your loved one is more comfortable and you can finally go home and try to rest yourself. Pain. Do you really like to know what else I noticed too? Young men, maybe teens been brought in after fighting, my guess after a drunken brawl or a vendetta which just brings hate to the world. Pain. So, in between trips to the toilet and tea machine,I wrote in my mind blog for you all to share. And I could only come away with four words ping ponging about...
We all know these words and live them, but I left A&E that night thinking...we could all do so much more.

Friday, 21 November 2008

Martial Arts

Martial Art is more than a way of combat or self defense, it is a way of life. It instills respect, integrity and honesty. The true spirit of the martial way fuses together the mind, body and soul. You become one and prosper. There is internal and external, you have a choice. It is an excellent exercise that tones the body, frees the mind and improves oneself. You will may already be humble and caring and that is just the type of person a martial artist should be. You will accumulate increased energy systems and your circulation will be flowing. Chi, or Ki energy will travel through your entire being. It is the art of breathing, the life force that enables you to live. Martial Arts has saved me from becoming somebody who would later go on to bury me today. I intervened my former self with a positive voice, and my actions have proved worthwhile. Martial arts does not make you into a killing machine in the negative sense, but you will have the knowledge how to meet/stop an attack and escape safely. You will learn to put your pride away to walk away, peace is the order of the day. If you need it, it is there. Such force has to be used if there's no other means of escape. If somebody looks at you hateful or calls you a name, please treat this to what it is...just a name. You know you, you know better. A lot of fighters I've met have walked away from really hurting someone only to be called a coward, but really they have done the insulter a favour haven't they? There are the select few who do abuse the skills they have been taught though. I look at myself in the sense that I'm not tougher, but fitter and more understanding of how my body works. I am no tough guy and my wish is to be a love guy. I love making friends and being happy. Karate, Kung Fu, Judo, Ju Jitsu, Thai boxing, matter what style it is you are still investing in you, and that is a great thing to do. Whatever art you enjoy, be it singing, painting or dancing, as long as what you're involved in makes you happy you will be just fine.

Thursday, 20 November 2008

How long will you wait for your Great strength to surface?

How many times have you thought or even felt the desire to be creative? We were all born to create and our imaginations can strangle or rescue us. You are special and unique, a true individual regardless of how many mistakes you have made. You are so capable it's frightening. I too work daily on my own weaknesses as I have many, but there's no help like self help! When you feel really low you have the inner strength to pick yourself back up and carry on. You will face the mighty winds with desire and faith, and you will conquer your every fear. It's in us all...the shadow. It can kill us or live us. Use your mind to plant blossoms and you shall bloom, beware of weeds. Cry if it helps you feel lighter, that's whats crying for. It's not a weakness, but a weaker strength. Man should be judged on his power to help and heal, not fight or destroy. Crying heals the soul. Anger can help if you project it in the right direction, aim that arrow and fire the cross bow! Emotions can drain or they can build, rebuild yourself into a happy person if need be. Be honest and quick of eye, remain slow of tongue in certain terms. Trust others but trust yourself more and you shall open up a gate for others to relish you.

Sunday, 16 November 2008

Winter Darts Training

It's that time of year when the cold breeze tests our steel, our faith. Instead of welcoming the winter blues I shall embrace the elements and train. I enjoy running in the fresh morning, where the birds chirp freely and brown leaves blow beneath my footwork. I breath deeply in the crisp Autumn air and suddenly I feel whole, a being engulfed with energy. I'll sprint against the snow and rain, forging on to improve my well being. People don't realise that we as weather are nature, we are all among we. I take in mother natures beauty and better still thrive within it. And when I rest and have my cuppa, I'll know that I used the best of my time in earning my supper.

Friday, 14 November 2008

Friends till the very end...

'The bad times did come and go,
but together we made it so,
and when I was feeling low, the both of you would make me glow.
Times were hard with us growing up, I wonder if anyone knows our stuff?
Smiling eyes have saved our souls, we stuck together and full filled our goals.
You both have stood by my side, and saved me when I could have died.
Always there like brothers to me, my friends Rob Cooper and Damey Dee.'

Love and Friendship

These two very meaningful words sum up the whole concept of life. How many times can you count, the break ups and disagreements you may have had or are still enduring? More than less? It's easy to let our feelings dictate our actions as we feel hurt, and it's natural to let our pain be heard. As a person we have our own take on things which is our 'humble opinion'. This is fine and opinions and views make the world turn each day. It is what makes us all unique and different. Some people say that life would be boring if we were all the same. This was an opinion too. As is this...'I think that team is better than that team.' So the reply is...'no way that team is better.' The conflict taking place here is a complex one, so here goes!
A feels his team is better than B's team. This is his feeling, his conclusion. He is not trying to order B to agree as such (although it does happen). B defensively defends his view and say's his view. This is where it becomes a debate, no longer an innocent opinion. Such situations become petty and soon heated. The total truth on this (and this is my view) is that A's stating that it's the team he prefers, and B's team is the one he prefers. Not the best team over all-god bless-amen-full stop. But the best team for that individual. Love and Friendship is something that we all possess and we should put more effort into uniting than retracting. Although we are different people, we are all the same human life form. Food for thought?

Wednesday, 12 November 2008

Blue is the colour

Last night I was fortunate enough to pass my Karate exam and earn my Blue Belt. It was a tough one even though only three of the adults were present. I now feel as though the hard work I'm putting in is no longer a quest for a new belt progression, rather it is a personal life progression to understanding myself that little bit more. I have a long way to go before I see and feel the benefits of my martial arts training. The real work is done on the inside. My goal, as I'm becoming more self aware - is not a Black Belt in any system, it is to be a Black Belt in life. It is the freedom of living which no medal, trophy or belt can give you. There is no final ending, just a continuing quest for self enlightenment and peace. At least as I move along in Karate, I know what I need to do in order to improve.

Saturday, 8 November 2008

Prisoner in your mind

Your mind is the most powerful organ on the entire planet. What ever the mind will conceive, it can achieve. It is so easy to think miserable thoughts and view the world on the down sides, but to remain positive takes more effort. You will need to dig deep and take a good look at what you have got around you. Keeping busy can help, because if you have a problem a one track mind will drain you until you are more unhappy than first started. Your fear, or dread will feed off your resources causing you to lose sleep and neglect nourishment. You won't even realise you are destroying yourself as you will be too occupied in hunting for the medicine to your suffering. It is easier said than done I know, but this energy will use you up and spit you out. It will spread to others and before you know it others find you unbearable to be around. You have become inprisioned in your own mind, and can't find a way out let alone what got you here in the first place. Now you will complain that your depressed...sound familiar?
I have been here many, many times and always will face the bars of steel that wait for me in my mind of minds. I can't tell you what to do so I'll give you a quote from Jackie Chan.
'You control the situation, not the situation control you.'
I always relay this passage to myself in times of need, and find that deep gentle breathing helps with meditation (more on that later). You should find an outlet for your energy's and it will help lighten the load of daily life. Think of your body as a Car. Best transport around. It can take you anywhere you want, be anyone you choose to be. So when people are not active and over eat, the system becomes clogged and blocked. It doesn't function the way it should, and this turns back on yourself in the form of...sense of sadness.
Your environment affects you mood also. Think about it, if you spend time around trash you will think trash. So our influences say a lot too. We all absorb each other, although we are all different people, we are all the same human beings. If you spend time in nice places, with nice people, 9 times from 10 you will become a nice person.
So, regular light meals, moderate activity few times per week, friendly environments to name a few. remember, you are the only one who can hold you hostage, and you have the key all along.
And don't forget to take good care of your feet, without them you won't get very far. Foot express requires massaging (even by self if alone) Jonson's power or moisturiser.
Be well all.

Wednesday, 5 November 2008


Between periods of the Ming and Ching Dynasties in China, a young man named Wong Long arived at the Shaolin Temple at the foot of Mount Song in Honan province. The year was 1645.
He had been raised and trained by a Taoist priest named Yu Fa, but now decided to take down the Manchu government. Yu Fa advised him to seek better instruction if this was his aim. Wong had heard the stories about the great Shoalin monks and their famous feats. The Abbot of the temple, granted Wong permission to have a friendly contest with one of his monks, Fa Tung.
And so, the following day the fight began. Wong was defeated, and couldn't match Fa Tung's skill. He left that cold morning from the temple and went his own way. Several months later, he was wondering along an old dusty path in the blistering heat and stopped for a rest under a tree. Suddenly a sound disturbed his peaceful state, and so he went to investigate near the bushes. He found a small preying mantis locked in a battle with a large Cicada, and was amazed how this small insect controlled and fought his way to victory. Firing Wongs thoughts, he built a small cage and adopted the preying mantis as his pet. He prodded the insect with sticks and studied it's reactions and movements. Wong took weeks to write down every action of his new friend and practice hard. He returned to the Shaolin Temple to beat Fa Tung, and thus the style of The Preying Mantis was born.
If there is a lesson to be learned here, it is this... Never give up thinking of ways to improve one's self and to bear in mind that it's not the size of the dog in a fight, rather the size of the fight in the dog!

Sunday, 2 November 2008

Your best treasure is deep within

I often feel a lot of the time that I have more to offer of myself. It's almost like I feel lazy at times when I should be doing more. We all have a buried treasure chest that we keep locked and buried deep within us. The hardest thing is finding the key, or finding the chest, but it's there. You will feel it, your cause. Try doing something that you enjoy, or are quite good at. It may be something from school, such as drawing or singing. Mine is writing, so I need to keep on writing so I can keep improving. Because if I don't I will become stale and my treasure chest will be lost and forgotten. We can all open our treasure and take a little look at it, it might be fun, who knows?

Saturday, 1 November 2008

Alive and Free

I'm thirty years of age. I've been reflecting back to my beginnings in the Martial Arts and what I want to continue to strive for. Martial Arts has saved my life and made me into a better person. This type of life style can help anyone out there with struggles. Tai Chi is useful for people who do not wish to enter to heavily, plus Yoga is very beneficial. As I practice more I find that I am becoming more and more humble. My body wants to stay young and healthy, my mind calm and alert. I am alive and free.

Friday, 31 October 2008


'Scorpios and shadows may give you a fright, they're out to get you, you're probably cats and goblins on Halloween night!'

Thursday, 30 October 2008


All good things must come to an end...but not this time. Out of the darkness must come the light and we are about to embark on a journey to the answers to the self. Your self.
Self help and advice.
Martial Arts and Fitness training.
Short Stories.

Wednesday, 29 October 2008


'I'll cut you up into little pieces, flush you down the plughole!'
''re scaring me.'


I walk alone, but I am popular.
I ask for no help, I'm unwise.
I will support you, no matter what.
I have an inner strength to share.
I am a deep thinker, not always good.
I need to do more, improve.
I'm obsessed with the way of beings.
I sense danger.
Best of all though...I am free.




A drunk staggered along until he fancied a leak. He pulled out his 3 inch man hood and urinated in a puddle of toxic waste. The waste travelled up his drainage melted off his pee wee. Drunk screamed as his Penis began to move about and grow. It swelled up with veins popping and became a 12 inch monster, with two red eyes and fangs by the fore skin. It sprang up and chewed off Drunks face, before sliding away...


The warehouse workers smoked fags and read the latest news in the paper. The canteen was full, with gossip about some unexplained occurrences the night before.
'Eh Bob? Is this your truck!'
The workers laughed as Bob studied the picture.
'Fuck me, it looks like mine. Even got the sticker.'
Bob went to inspect his truck and sure enough there was blood all over the carriage plate and forks.
'What tha?'
Asda had been rammed by a rouge forklift and Bob was the suspect. That night Bob was washing up, when he thought he'd seen some thing travel by his window. He went out to investigate.
His forklift came straight for him ripping him in half. Then wheel spinned on his dog and cat before ramming the spine from Mrs Bob. The runaway Forklift then reversed into the Christmas tree and goldfish, squashing the family hamster.
Nobody is safe. Quick, go look outside...can you see the runaway?


Trudy Grudy watched Wanker Wotkins play with himself. He was viewing a porno movie. Trudy bobbed up behind him in his chair...
Trudy's pizza cutter was mask taped to her hand, and ran across wanker Wotkins throat. Blood sprayed over his flatmate who was tied up on the floor. Trudy then turned her attention to Skinny Bev, who was cryiing in pain in the absence of his ankles.
'Soorryyy!!' Bev cried.
'BRRRPP!' returned Trudy, bobbing up to him holding Wotkins Adam's apple. She slammed in down Bev's throat until he began chewing it. Soon after watching, Trudy went into the kitchen and turned on the gas. She inflated herself with some and then bobbed back into the living room to the final two rapist killers.
Trudy faced them both...
Before throwing herself on Wanker Wotkins burning nub end in the ash tray.
Flames had engulfed the house, and the clock had just struck midnight.

Tuesday, 28 October 2008

TIMMY part five

Jasper n Clyde moved in, swift n deadly. They had found Timmy on the farm. Timmy sat nervously on the branch of the huge oak tree, Billy hid in the shed with a peg gun. Timmy was shaking as they swooped down knocking him off the branch. Timmy flipped in mid air and went after them. Jasper n Clyde were shocked as they seen Timmy eyes glaring. Billy missed them with the peg gun and they went after him. Timmy bombed forwards with his god speed and rammed into Jasper n Clyde. Jasper bit Timmy's wing and Clyde circled round with fangs on display! Timmy homed in like in his peanut practice onto Clyde's eyes, Timmy stayed strong. He could see his mom and dad dying.
'Not this time!!!'
Timmy opened his mouth and smashed into Clyde who was stronger. They both crashed into the tree. Jasper bolted down and hit Timmy. Timmy forced himself up to fly, he was weakening. Clyde was blinded as his eyes rolled out. The taste of blood made Timmy feel sick, but he had Clyde to tend with.
'Now ya fuckin dead!!!' screamed Clyde. He bit Timmy's other wing and he went down. Timmy bit back scrapping with Clyde, but he was too weak. Clyde smirked and showed off his daggers of death. Timmy covered his head with his wings and prayed...
Timmy waited... 'No'?
Billy came running over, he had just shot Clyde in the head and killed him!
'Are you alright Timmy?' asked Billy shaking.
'Y,yes...thanks to you.'
Jasper fly towards them, using his sense of smell, Timmy pushed Billy away and charged into Jasper. Jasper fly back and the nail leading up to Billy's tree house pierced Clyde's head.
It was over.
Timmy lived in Billy's tree house happy ever after, feeding on the fruit that grew on the huge oak tree. He was finally free, and it's all thanks to you bloggers!


If you are unhappy you are sad.
If you are in pain, you will hurt.
If you feel low, you will do low.
If you can't fight back, you will fight you.
If you blame the world, you won't ever be free.
Stop are not dead yet.


Make the best of now,
before you're gone away.
To a place some believe is there, but not here.
No matter how bad, rough or

Sunday, 26 October 2008


Where do they come from?
What do they want?
Why do they follow us?
Why can we hear them?
Why can't we see them?
Why can they see us?
Can you feel it...


The clocks go back as the nights draw in. The leaves fall at a steady pace, and berries grow on bushes for the animals. We wrap up warm in gloves and scarfs, hibernation is upon us. The shops sell masks, and some fire works will be heard. Little trick or treaters dress up in all their innocence, blinded by ignorant parents. It all feels like spooky 'fun'...
Halloween- 31st October is the festival of Samhain. The party of the dead. Old folk laws tell us that lanterns were left out to guide the good spirits home and jack o lanterns to scare away the evil spirits. I often wonder what sort of forces we continue to lead back home after all these years of 'fun?'

Saturday, 25 October 2008


'Check out ma black widow spider jack n da box chatta,
head splatter, like ratty in a mouse catcher.
I can fuse this info, ya know so, I blow snow!
Creeping around on an early full moon,
Halloween soon, 5 days till the boom!
Ya all know me, the luv that we share,
bloggin a clout, more writes for the dare.
I am majestic, bold my story will be told,
heavy like gold, and cant be sold.
You're under my hold, so wrap up it's cold!'


I will dig up your loved ones and show them to you...
I will cut bits off you and sew them onto your friends...
I will film the whole lot and watch it with a pizza...
I will wait ten years and decide your fate...
I will forgive you and then strike...
I will walk with the clown at midnight and listen to his plans...
I will talk to the wind, only to have the trees listen in...
...I will...
I will do no such things, because that is not me.
We need to grow up and move on.


When we are over and vanished, what is there left? A space left after your spirit and soul flee for the intergalactic eternity. Bones that once were you, your skeleton. This structure that at one time moved for you by your bidding brain signals to tendon nerves, lies motionless. No muscles to move the remains. You astound others on your legacy, for it is evident...the look on your face. For you are not just an empty skeleton, a lonely you. You are also a grinning skull.
You had some happy times along the way.

Wednesday, 22 October 2008

TIMMY part four

Billy helped Timmy attach the weights to his wings. They felt heavy but would be good for his wing speed. Then Billy hung the Peanuts up by string and got his play bow n arrow ready.
Timmy struggled to stay in the air at first and did a few circles in the attic. Timmy aimed for the peanuts, imagining that they were Jaspers n Clydes eyes. At the same time he had to dodge Billy's arrows fast. Timmy trained hard, he had to be faster, stronger, fitter and more cunning than his evil step brothers. Timmy had razor sharp teeth, sharp enough to kill them with. Timmy got hit at first, but as the days passed he became faster without the weights and had aquired pinpoint accuracy. That night while nibbling on a pear, he listened to Billy speak about his happy home here with his foster parents. Timmy had made a friend, but knew the worst was yet to come. Tomorrow, he would lure Jasper n Clyde to a fight to the death!
*Join us next time for the final adventures of Timmy!*


Devil's night,
creatures of the night.
It's coming...


Dirty Terry and Carpethead Kevin were having a whale of a time. They knew nothing of Drunken Bobs demise at the hands of Trudy, the possessed blow up doll from the back streets. Instead tonight, they had polished off a bottle of vodka and some Viagra. They thought it funny to come across a similar blow up doll in a skip, like the one they beat up. Probably insane, Dirty Terry and CarpetHead Kevin took it in turns to have pretend sex with the doll, giggling as they do. DT was performing doggy style and pounding the air out from the doll.
'Poof, poof.'
Then CK took over and flipped the doll on its back, legs behind the ears. Then slipped in his unwashed Penis and began shunting away.
'Poof, poof.'
Now what they failed to notice was it was Trudy lying there, in secret and pretending. But Trudy had a plan...a double murder!
Trudy could also feel the pain and pleasure. In spirit she had a Clitoris, Vulva and could enjoy the pleasure. She screamed a 'BBRRRRPPP!' out as her plastic Vagina friction burned their staffs.
'Ouch! Fuck that!' cried Dirty Terry clutching his droop.
'I aint avin that!' swore Carpethead Kevin, pulling up his Y fronts.
Trudy's legs moved on their own from her head to the floor and she faced them.
'What tha...?'
Their Penises began swelling up and they screamed in pain.
Trudy was covered in Anthrax and Asbestos! A local break in at the factory's near by.
'BBRRRPP! Brrrrppp!'
Dirty Terry and Carpethead Kevin fell to the floor choking and scratching. Trudy bounced up off the coffee table sex surface, and bounced to the kitchen. She glanced in the cupboards until she found some Salt and a cheese grater, and then bobbed back into the living room and threw it at double trouble, then grated their ankles away.
Trudy bobbed towards the door, and rose her hand to wave without looking back...

Tuesday, 21 October 2008


Don't be a fucking puppet anymore. You don't need to bow down to evil bastards! It's your pissing life, not theirs. For to long you have taken a back seat, as they, with their hand up you're arse, control what you do. Even how you look or say things, and act. Just be true, be you. Be happy that you're you. If it's hard...well live or die then, be brave...walk on.
Show them who the fucking dark destroyer lone ranger is! Stick a pumpkin on their heads and beat it with a giant wooded spoon, great stuff.
Your not a doll, you are alive. You are living, here and now in the nowness, the present.
What are you going to do next with your great self?
...Exciting, insen't it!


'I appear cheerful, but inside I am sad.
I smile when I'm crushed.
I scream, but the words don't come out.
I try to talk, but choke instead.
I'm loud when I'm quiet.
I'm quiet when I'm loud.
I change to fit in.
I pretend to care.
I really care, then pretend I don't.
I am popular, but lonely.
I am lonely in a crowd.
Can anyone see my pain?'

Sunday, 19 October 2008


The furthest planet from the sun.
The last planet ever discovered.
The smallest planet.
Pluto was the god of the under world.
Cold, distant Pluto.
Scorpio's planet.


Swift beyond movement, my Ninja style's an improvement.
Too advanced in stance, toes step on dance.
Unknown, unseen, unheard...the sightings of a black crow could easily be mistaken for Blackbird.
Agile and fast, my kicks swoosh past.
Blend into the night, bat bite fight!
Undergrowth, shrubs n worms,
my knuckles graze ya skin for germs.
I practice with the oriental rules, show respect for the holy jewels.
Dragons, tiger imagine...
the worst case could happen,
caught on a snowy night,
I became the Ninja in white!


I blast the galaxy and nobody can stop me! I travel at the speed of light and look down on humanity. I feel the wind on my face, I feel alive and free. My name is Duane Emsley, and don't you forget it. I will always be here, here to support you all. God has chosen me to give truth and to contribute to the Martial Arts. After these OCTOBER NIGHTMARE'S are over, and ENAUD YELSME is gone...I will return bigger and better than ever with a whole new look, and BLOG! Keep reading and logging on, invest in yourselves and do the right thing! In this one world and one life we have, lets share it with each other and blast the movafuckingalaxy!

TIMMY part three

Timmy cried to himself as his nightmares woke him up. He missed his mom and dad so much and was all alone. He could feel Jasper n Clyde hunting him not far away. He'd promised to prepare himself, and a small boy had been leaving him bread who lived in the house with his family. It had been a few days since Timmy had found this hiding place, and he was happy to have made a friend in Billy. Billy was eleven and had got Timmy the equipment he needed to begin his training.
2 Peanuts
2 Pieces of string
2 2 pound weights
and a bow and plastic arrows for Billy to use.
'Join us in the next two parts where Timmy begins his training with Billy and a show down with the Vampires!'


Drunken Bryan as his four pals called him, sat slumped in his arm chair clutching a can of Scrumpy Jack. He thought it was his TV playing up when he heard...
Bryan banged the remote against his leg and cursed, that's when he knew the sound was coming from the other side of the room. He put his TV on mute and listened out in his lonely one bedroom flat.
There it was again, 'BRRRPPP!'
'Who tha fukin els that!' cried out Bryan, half dribbling down his vest. He sat forwards and seen his cat run past. He was happy now and swigged a mouthful of poison spit. He carried on watching the TV when something caught his eye.
'BRRPPP!' Drunken Bryan shot up out from his chair dropping his beer. He couldn't believe what he was seeing.
From behind his settee rose Trudy!
And she was inflating! Bryan fell over his cat as Trudy the blow up doll bounced over the settee and bobbed towards him, she had a huge carving knife mask taped to her hand.
'What do ya want! Your a fuckin doll, you can't be alive. I'm sorry!!'
Trudy didn't reply as she was just a doll...a possessed doll. She was raped and killed by these men, and through back magic practice returned in the form of a sex doll. It all happened after she left her shift at the blue movie shop one year ago. First sex shop to be opened in a small village.
The inflating sound was chilling, and she smiled with her red lips as she slashed Drunken Bryan's nose off and rammed the blade into his gums. She diceD his face up until his screams fell faint through blood and bone. Then she cut open his gut before chopping off his ankles.
One down...four to go, 'BBBRRRRPPPP!'

Friday, 17 October 2008


Martin pulled off his red checked shirt and kicked out at the bail of logs that he had stored in the barn. He screamed inside at the pain of being a woodcutter. He thought he'd found happiness, a job he loved and a beautiful woman too. Martin lunged for the radio that was pissing him off, love songs had just begun and ended as eighteen stone threw it against the floor. He unscrewed the lid from his gasoline can and dowsed the whole barn it it. He placed out a cigarette and opened a bottle of rum. He had being saving it, his wife thought he'd quit. He angered at himself why he even bothered to make her happy, when all shes done is take. He sat on a bail of hay and listened to the pigs oink for scraps, the chickens were in need of feeding too. Martin cryed, first time in a long time. He took a look around his office, the barn. And how he's worked so hard on this farm. He knows what he must do now. Martin makes his plan as the liquor takes effect, a mouse scurries by. He examines himself in his dirty mirror that rested against a few weight plates, and reminds his dark looks that he needs a shave. Martin yanks out his hatchet from the tree stump, and burried it in the middle of his punchbag hanging up.
He waits for Fiona to finish her shift at the town library, he knows that bastard will be with her. Why? What's he going to do.
Martin can hear the 4x4 pull up accompanied by slamming doors and whispers.
'Fuckin whispers!'
Then Martin hears her screams.
'She found her dog then, all cut up.'
Fiona and her lover fought to find mobiles as Martin made his way towards them whistling 'Always look on the bright side of life'
He looked straight at her eyes and the could see the guilt, the lies and best of all...his child hood secrets that he had shared with her,only her. Tormented abuse.
Her lover attempted to calm Martin down by extending his hand, which Martin hacked right off.
'What are you doing!' screamed Fiona covering her cheeks in dispair.
'Don't make this about you love.' Martin commented as he struck her lover with a knee to the chin, knocking him down.
Martin had cracked, his heart was leading the way. He knew this was wrong but she had to pay. He grabbed her by the hair and punched her in the neck. The attack killed her in seconds.
The lover was tougher than the man he seemed and tackled Martin to the ground. Martin swung the axe repeatably making trudge marks in lovers head, soon he had no head.
Martin staggered back to his barn and lit his cigarette. He sat on his bail of hay and watched the flames make their way around him. He whistled himself away with an old Beatles song...'The things we do for love.'

Thursday, 16 October 2008


My third eyes detects all passings. I am humble and patient. I forge on daily trying to improve myself and enjoy what life I have. One thousand blinks per minute, 600 working muscles in the human body, birds fly, they sing. Wind makes sounds, rain brings growth, the sun shines on us all. We are a family, we will succeed. The deep self stays away searching inside for outside light, emotions run deep. Keys to the soul, the eyes.


Wednesday, 15 October 2008


Spooky wooky,
looky kooky,
mooky dooky.
sooky gooky,
hooky fooky,
woopy kooky,
zooky vooky,
oooky looky,
rooky qooky,
cooky nooky!
I believe in ghosts, do you?


You fight through each day now without them, you feel lonely. You remember back to how they talked, smelt and loved you. You will never get over them leaving you, your hearts hurt every waking moment, every dark sleepless night. When you close your eyes you can see them, and as the years pass you feel bad for not thinking of them first moments. The only way to get through this is to stop trying. We can only hold their memories dear, that is our way of keeping them with us. They are in our blood, and we carry them where ever we travel. They are more part of us now than ever. Every tear you shed and every smile you make, live on your life for that's what they would want. You are not alone, love is eternal...