Friday, 31 October 2008


'Scorpios and shadows may give you a fright, they're out to get you, you're probably cats and goblins on Halloween night!'

Thursday, 30 October 2008


All good things must come to an end...but not this time. Out of the darkness must come the light and we are about to embark on a journey to the answers to the self. Your self.
Self help and advice.
Martial Arts and Fitness training.
Short Stories.

Wednesday, 29 October 2008


'I'll cut you up into little pieces, flush you down the plughole!'
''re scaring me.'


I walk alone, but I am popular.
I ask for no help, I'm unwise.
I will support you, no matter what.
I have an inner strength to share.
I am a deep thinker, not always good.
I need to do more, improve.
I'm obsessed with the way of beings.
I sense danger.
Best of all though...I am free.




A drunk staggered along until he fancied a leak. He pulled out his 3 inch man hood and urinated in a puddle of toxic waste. The waste travelled up his drainage melted off his pee wee. Drunk screamed as his Penis began to move about and grow. It swelled up with veins popping and became a 12 inch monster, with two red eyes and fangs by the fore skin. It sprang up and chewed off Drunks face, before sliding away...


The warehouse workers smoked fags and read the latest news in the paper. The canteen was full, with gossip about some unexplained occurrences the night before.
'Eh Bob? Is this your truck!'
The workers laughed as Bob studied the picture.
'Fuck me, it looks like mine. Even got the sticker.'
Bob went to inspect his truck and sure enough there was blood all over the carriage plate and forks.
'What tha?'
Asda had been rammed by a rouge forklift and Bob was the suspect. That night Bob was washing up, when he thought he'd seen some thing travel by his window. He went out to investigate.
His forklift came straight for him ripping him in half. Then wheel spinned on his dog and cat before ramming the spine from Mrs Bob. The runaway Forklift then reversed into the Christmas tree and goldfish, squashing the family hamster.
Nobody is safe. Quick, go look outside...can you see the runaway?


Trudy Grudy watched Wanker Wotkins play with himself. He was viewing a porno movie. Trudy bobbed up behind him in his chair...
Trudy's pizza cutter was mask taped to her hand, and ran across wanker Wotkins throat. Blood sprayed over his flatmate who was tied up on the floor. Trudy then turned her attention to Skinny Bev, who was cryiing in pain in the absence of his ankles.
'Soorryyy!!' Bev cried.
'BRRRPP!' returned Trudy, bobbing up to him holding Wotkins Adam's apple. She slammed in down Bev's throat until he began chewing it. Soon after watching, Trudy went into the kitchen and turned on the gas. She inflated herself with some and then bobbed back into the living room to the final two rapist killers.
Trudy faced them both...
Before throwing herself on Wanker Wotkins burning nub end in the ash tray.
Flames had engulfed the house, and the clock had just struck midnight.

Tuesday, 28 October 2008

TIMMY part five

Jasper n Clyde moved in, swift n deadly. They had found Timmy on the farm. Timmy sat nervously on the branch of the huge oak tree, Billy hid in the shed with a peg gun. Timmy was shaking as they swooped down knocking him off the branch. Timmy flipped in mid air and went after them. Jasper n Clyde were shocked as they seen Timmy eyes glaring. Billy missed them with the peg gun and they went after him. Timmy bombed forwards with his god speed and rammed into Jasper n Clyde. Jasper bit Timmy's wing and Clyde circled round with fangs on display! Timmy homed in like in his peanut practice onto Clyde's eyes, Timmy stayed strong. He could see his mom and dad dying.
'Not this time!!!'
Timmy opened his mouth and smashed into Clyde who was stronger. They both crashed into the tree. Jasper bolted down and hit Timmy. Timmy forced himself up to fly, he was weakening. Clyde was blinded as his eyes rolled out. The taste of blood made Timmy feel sick, but he had Clyde to tend with.
'Now ya fuckin dead!!!' screamed Clyde. He bit Timmy's other wing and he went down. Timmy bit back scrapping with Clyde, but he was too weak. Clyde smirked and showed off his daggers of death. Timmy covered his head with his wings and prayed...
Timmy waited... 'No'?
Billy came running over, he had just shot Clyde in the head and killed him!
'Are you alright Timmy?' asked Billy shaking.
'Y,yes...thanks to you.'
Jasper fly towards them, using his sense of smell, Timmy pushed Billy away and charged into Jasper. Jasper fly back and the nail leading up to Billy's tree house pierced Clyde's head.
It was over.
Timmy lived in Billy's tree house happy ever after, feeding on the fruit that grew on the huge oak tree. He was finally free, and it's all thanks to you bloggers!


If you are unhappy you are sad.
If you are in pain, you will hurt.
If you feel low, you will do low.
If you can't fight back, you will fight you.
If you blame the world, you won't ever be free.
Stop are not dead yet.


Make the best of now,
before you're gone away.
To a place some believe is there, but not here.
No matter how bad, rough or

Sunday, 26 October 2008


Where do they come from?
What do they want?
Why do they follow us?
Why can we hear them?
Why can't we see them?
Why can they see us?
Can you feel it...


The clocks go back as the nights draw in. The leaves fall at a steady pace, and berries grow on bushes for the animals. We wrap up warm in gloves and scarfs, hibernation is upon us. The shops sell masks, and some fire works will be heard. Little trick or treaters dress up in all their innocence, blinded by ignorant parents. It all feels like spooky 'fun'...
Halloween- 31st October is the festival of Samhain. The party of the dead. Old folk laws tell us that lanterns were left out to guide the good spirits home and jack o lanterns to scare away the evil spirits. I often wonder what sort of forces we continue to lead back home after all these years of 'fun?'

Saturday, 25 October 2008


'Check out ma black widow spider jack n da box chatta,
head splatter, like ratty in a mouse catcher.
I can fuse this info, ya know so, I blow snow!
Creeping around on an early full moon,
Halloween soon, 5 days till the boom!
Ya all know me, the luv that we share,
bloggin a clout, more writes for the dare.
I am majestic, bold my story will be told,
heavy like gold, and cant be sold.
You're under my hold, so wrap up it's cold!'


I will dig up your loved ones and show them to you...
I will cut bits off you and sew them onto your friends...
I will film the whole lot and watch it with a pizza...
I will wait ten years and decide your fate...
I will forgive you and then strike...
I will walk with the clown at midnight and listen to his plans...
I will talk to the wind, only to have the trees listen in...
...I will...
I will do no such things, because that is not me.
We need to grow up and move on.


When we are over and vanished, what is there left? A space left after your spirit and soul flee for the intergalactic eternity. Bones that once were you, your skeleton. This structure that at one time moved for you by your bidding brain signals to tendon nerves, lies motionless. No muscles to move the remains. You astound others on your legacy, for it is evident...the look on your face. For you are not just an empty skeleton, a lonely you. You are also a grinning skull.
You had some happy times along the way.

Wednesday, 22 October 2008

TIMMY part four

Billy helped Timmy attach the weights to his wings. They felt heavy but would be good for his wing speed. Then Billy hung the Peanuts up by string and got his play bow n arrow ready.
Timmy struggled to stay in the air at first and did a few circles in the attic. Timmy aimed for the peanuts, imagining that they were Jaspers n Clydes eyes. At the same time he had to dodge Billy's arrows fast. Timmy trained hard, he had to be faster, stronger, fitter and more cunning than his evil step brothers. Timmy had razor sharp teeth, sharp enough to kill them with. Timmy got hit at first, but as the days passed he became faster without the weights and had aquired pinpoint accuracy. That night while nibbling on a pear, he listened to Billy speak about his happy home here with his foster parents. Timmy had made a friend, but knew the worst was yet to come. Tomorrow, he would lure Jasper n Clyde to a fight to the death!
*Join us next time for the final adventures of Timmy!*


Devil's night,
creatures of the night.
It's coming...


Dirty Terry and Carpethead Kevin were having a whale of a time. They knew nothing of Drunken Bobs demise at the hands of Trudy, the possessed blow up doll from the back streets. Instead tonight, they had polished off a bottle of vodka and some Viagra. They thought it funny to come across a similar blow up doll in a skip, like the one they beat up. Probably insane, Dirty Terry and CarpetHead Kevin took it in turns to have pretend sex with the doll, giggling as they do. DT was performing doggy style and pounding the air out from the doll.
'Poof, poof.'
Then CK took over and flipped the doll on its back, legs behind the ears. Then slipped in his unwashed Penis and began shunting away.
'Poof, poof.'
Now what they failed to notice was it was Trudy lying there, in secret and pretending. But Trudy had a plan...a double murder!
Trudy could also feel the pain and pleasure. In spirit she had a Clitoris, Vulva and could enjoy the pleasure. She screamed a 'BBRRRRPPP!' out as her plastic Vagina friction burned their staffs.
'Ouch! Fuck that!' cried Dirty Terry clutching his droop.
'I aint avin that!' swore Carpethead Kevin, pulling up his Y fronts.
Trudy's legs moved on their own from her head to the floor and she faced them.
'What tha...?'
Their Penises began swelling up and they screamed in pain.
Trudy was covered in Anthrax and Asbestos! A local break in at the factory's near by.
'BBRRRPP! Brrrrppp!'
Dirty Terry and Carpethead Kevin fell to the floor choking and scratching. Trudy bounced up off the coffee table sex surface, and bounced to the kitchen. She glanced in the cupboards until she found some Salt and a cheese grater, and then bobbed back into the living room and threw it at double trouble, then grated their ankles away.
Trudy bobbed towards the door, and rose her hand to wave without looking back...

Tuesday, 21 October 2008


Don't be a fucking puppet anymore. You don't need to bow down to evil bastards! It's your pissing life, not theirs. For to long you have taken a back seat, as they, with their hand up you're arse, control what you do. Even how you look or say things, and act. Just be true, be you. Be happy that you're you. If it's hard...well live or die then, be brave...walk on.
Show them who the fucking dark destroyer lone ranger is! Stick a pumpkin on their heads and beat it with a giant wooded spoon, great stuff.
Your not a doll, you are alive. You are living, here and now in the nowness, the present.
What are you going to do next with your great self?
...Exciting, insen't it!


'I appear cheerful, but inside I am sad.
I smile when I'm crushed.
I scream, but the words don't come out.
I try to talk, but choke instead.
I'm loud when I'm quiet.
I'm quiet when I'm loud.
I change to fit in.
I pretend to care.
I really care, then pretend I don't.
I am popular, but lonely.
I am lonely in a crowd.
Can anyone see my pain?'

Sunday, 19 October 2008


The furthest planet from the sun.
The last planet ever discovered.
The smallest planet.
Pluto was the god of the under world.
Cold, distant Pluto.
Scorpio's planet.


Swift beyond movement, my Ninja style's an improvement.
Too advanced in stance, toes step on dance.
Unknown, unseen, unheard...the sightings of a black crow could easily be mistaken for Blackbird.
Agile and fast, my kicks swoosh past.
Blend into the night, bat bite fight!
Undergrowth, shrubs n worms,
my knuckles graze ya skin for germs.
I practice with the oriental rules, show respect for the holy jewels.
Dragons, tiger imagine...
the worst case could happen,
caught on a snowy night,
I became the Ninja in white!


I blast the galaxy and nobody can stop me! I travel at the speed of light and look down on humanity. I feel the wind on my face, I feel alive and free. My name is Duane Emsley, and don't you forget it. I will always be here, here to support you all. God has chosen me to give truth and to contribute to the Martial Arts. After these OCTOBER NIGHTMARE'S are over, and ENAUD YELSME is gone...I will return bigger and better than ever with a whole new look, and BLOG! Keep reading and logging on, invest in yourselves and do the right thing! In this one world and one life we have, lets share it with each other and blast the movafuckingalaxy!

TIMMY part three

Timmy cried to himself as his nightmares woke him up. He missed his mom and dad so much and was all alone. He could feel Jasper n Clyde hunting him not far away. He'd promised to prepare himself, and a small boy had been leaving him bread who lived in the house with his family. It had been a few days since Timmy had found this hiding place, and he was happy to have made a friend in Billy. Billy was eleven and had got Timmy the equipment he needed to begin his training.
2 Peanuts
2 Pieces of string
2 2 pound weights
and a bow and plastic arrows for Billy to use.
'Join us in the next two parts where Timmy begins his training with Billy and a show down with the Vampires!'


Drunken Bryan as his four pals called him, sat slumped in his arm chair clutching a can of Scrumpy Jack. He thought it was his TV playing up when he heard...
Bryan banged the remote against his leg and cursed, that's when he knew the sound was coming from the other side of the room. He put his TV on mute and listened out in his lonely one bedroom flat.
There it was again, 'BRRRPPP!'
'Who tha fukin els that!' cried out Bryan, half dribbling down his vest. He sat forwards and seen his cat run past. He was happy now and swigged a mouthful of poison spit. He carried on watching the TV when something caught his eye.
'BRRPPP!' Drunken Bryan shot up out from his chair dropping his beer. He couldn't believe what he was seeing.
From behind his settee rose Trudy!
And she was inflating! Bryan fell over his cat as Trudy the blow up doll bounced over the settee and bobbed towards him, she had a huge carving knife mask taped to her hand.
'What do ya want! Your a fuckin doll, you can't be alive. I'm sorry!!'
Trudy didn't reply as she was just a doll...a possessed doll. She was raped and killed by these men, and through back magic practice returned in the form of a sex doll. It all happened after she left her shift at the blue movie shop one year ago. First sex shop to be opened in a small village.
The inflating sound was chilling, and she smiled with her red lips as she slashed Drunken Bryan's nose off and rammed the blade into his gums. She diceD his face up until his screams fell faint through blood and bone. Then she cut open his gut before chopping off his ankles.
One down...four to go, 'BBBRRRRPPPP!'

Friday, 17 October 2008


Martin pulled off his red checked shirt and kicked out at the bail of logs that he had stored in the barn. He screamed inside at the pain of being a woodcutter. He thought he'd found happiness, a job he loved and a beautiful woman too. Martin lunged for the radio that was pissing him off, love songs had just begun and ended as eighteen stone threw it against the floor. He unscrewed the lid from his gasoline can and dowsed the whole barn it it. He placed out a cigarette and opened a bottle of rum. He had being saving it, his wife thought he'd quit. He angered at himself why he even bothered to make her happy, when all shes done is take. He sat on a bail of hay and listened to the pigs oink for scraps, the chickens were in need of feeding too. Martin cryed, first time in a long time. He took a look around his office, the barn. And how he's worked so hard on this farm. He knows what he must do now. Martin makes his plan as the liquor takes effect, a mouse scurries by. He examines himself in his dirty mirror that rested against a few weight plates, and reminds his dark looks that he needs a shave. Martin yanks out his hatchet from the tree stump, and burried it in the middle of his punchbag hanging up.
He waits for Fiona to finish her shift at the town library, he knows that bastard will be with her. Why? What's he going to do.
Martin can hear the 4x4 pull up accompanied by slamming doors and whispers.
'Fuckin whispers!'
Then Martin hears her screams.
'She found her dog then, all cut up.'
Fiona and her lover fought to find mobiles as Martin made his way towards them whistling 'Always look on the bright side of life'
He looked straight at her eyes and the could see the guilt, the lies and best of all...his child hood secrets that he had shared with her,only her. Tormented abuse.
Her lover attempted to calm Martin down by extending his hand, which Martin hacked right off.
'What are you doing!' screamed Fiona covering her cheeks in dispair.
'Don't make this about you love.' Martin commented as he struck her lover with a knee to the chin, knocking him down.
Martin had cracked, his heart was leading the way. He knew this was wrong but she had to pay. He grabbed her by the hair and punched her in the neck. The attack killed her in seconds.
The lover was tougher than the man he seemed and tackled Martin to the ground. Martin swung the axe repeatably making trudge marks in lovers head, soon he had no head.
Martin staggered back to his barn and lit his cigarette. He sat on his bail of hay and watched the flames make their way around him. He whistled himself away with an old Beatles song...'The things we do for love.'

Thursday, 16 October 2008


My third eyes detects all passings. I am humble and patient. I forge on daily trying to improve myself and enjoy what life I have. One thousand blinks per minute, 600 working muscles in the human body, birds fly, they sing. Wind makes sounds, rain brings growth, the sun shines on us all. We are a family, we will succeed. The deep self stays away searching inside for outside light, emotions run deep. Keys to the soul, the eyes.


Wednesday, 15 October 2008


Spooky wooky,
looky kooky,
mooky dooky.
sooky gooky,
hooky fooky,
woopy kooky,
zooky vooky,
oooky looky,
rooky qooky,
cooky nooky!
I believe in ghosts, do you?


You fight through each day now without them, you feel lonely. You remember back to how they talked, smelt and loved you. You will never get over them leaving you, your hearts hurt every waking moment, every dark sleepless night. When you close your eyes you can see them, and as the years pass you feel bad for not thinking of them first moments. The only way to get through this is to stop trying. We can only hold their memories dear, that is our way of keeping them with us. They are in our blood, and we carry them where ever we travel. They are more part of us now than ever. Every tear you shed and every smile you make, live on your life for that's what they would want. You are not alone, love is eternal...

Tuesday, 14 October 2008


'This is my last time I will write in my diary. By now it will be clear of all I have experienced and been through. I question about how many times I could hope and kid myself of ever getting Matt Steely to like me, we're in our last term of school and still he barley notices me. What is it that other girls have that I don't? Laura told me the other day that I was a 'blond bombshell', and not to try to hard. Well, they are not queuing up mate. My mom and dad tell me to stop being silly and to grow up. 'More fish in the sea' and all that talk that doesn't stop you from crying into your pillow every night. I read over my past experiences in this little pink book that has kept me sane. I try to lie to myself, 'Maybe it's time of the month, your feeling vulnerable?' No. I can feel them all laughing at me, still even Matt. Oh Matt, can't you see that we were meant to be? Why did you not answer all of my letters? I walk past your house every day. I even know what time you go to sleep. I want you to be my first Matt, please please...I love you.
How stupid am I really? Jessica Brandon you are a smuck! Not any more am I...Matt? You drove me to do this didn't you? I can't write anymore, how can I record what I've done? How would this Diary read in court?
Oh, silly girl Jessica Brandon had a crush on a lad in her school, and through sheer desperation killed him. Yes, killed him. If I can't have him, then nobody can. I've always been strong for a girl and pushed him in the woodwork cupboard, I tried to kiss him but he pushed me away. I just reacted and reached for the nearest thing...a clamp. I clamped his skull, hard. I just stood there horrified at what I'd just done, like I watched someone else do it. I clamped him again and again until I was covered in his blood. The funny thing is...I felt better for it. Like my true self was in flight. I know this may read like utter madness but I trust you blogger readers. That's why I'm going to do the same to my mom and dad, when I close this diary for the very last time...

Monday, 13 October 2008


We all asociate the trait selfisness, as a tight self -obsorbed non sharing quality. I don't feel this is quite the case. And so, my reason gains a voice yet again...
Nobody, and I repeat 'nobody' knows you like you know yourself! You are your bestest pal and worsest enemy. You are with yourself 2047-24 hrs per day. I f you don't put yourself towards the top of the list, how do you expect to gain all of the things in life that you so desire? Now, I'm not talking being cruel. I believe are greatest strength is sharing and caring, and we can harness all these qualities as well as look after our own, without being branded 'selfish'
We just have to find the balance (remember that blog?)
Just be sure to value yourself, and to put aside some energy for your personal journeys.
You won't regret it, I promise.
Thanks to all my readers who take the time to read my blogs. I have been hijacked by my dark self, so enjoy the "October Nightmare's"
God bless you, and your whole entire family...Duane

Sunday, 12 October 2008


I love October, it's my birthday month. I love the leaves turning brown and falling about. I love the fresh crisp air leading up to Halloween. I love the fog and the coming of Bonfire night. I love the dew that rests on the grass. I love the costumes and Pumpkin's that are in shops right about now. I love the fact that the clocks go back, because why is that? I love feeling spooked. I love imagining monsters. I love watching good horrors. I love making Jack O Lanterns. I love seeing the children dressing up. I love the feeling that I was born around this time. I love walking by trees anyway, they give off oxygen and chi energy. I love the gathering of scattered leaves. I am not nuts, I just enjoy all of these you?


'Help me! God someone please set me free.
Can't you hear me? I've been screaming for years.
Locked in my prison of mind zone.
How can you not see me when I am right in front of you?
Am I invisible?
You've known me since childhood but I am a stranger to you.
Do I even have friends, or just people who I know?
It's dark, but my eyes can see, why can't you see me?
I hear you, can you hear me?
I can almost touch you, but you move away!
They think they are all above me, and me below them.
I thought we were a team?
Why did they all leave me behind...'

TIMMY part two

'O no! I can sense them. They are on their way.'
Timmy flew from the fruit tree that had sheltered him from view, Jasper n Clyde were not far away.
'If I can just make it to that house over there I can hide in the roof!'
Timmy flew hard, his wings fought the wind and his fear was draining him. He knew that once they caught him, they would torture him. The same as what they did to his family, tore them apart as the remaining Bat's including Timmy, watched in tears. Jasper n Clyde was in the distance and they were heading this way!
'Fly Timmy fly!! Come on mate you can do it!' Timmy pushed himself hard he homed in on the gap in the roof, just big enough for a Timmy bat. He glided inside and was impressed with himself in the respect that he could fly faster, and with more control than he ever thought.
Timmy peeped at Jasper n Clyde whizz past, looking evil and how Vampire Bat's should look. Next time he may not be so lucky, but lucky for him they can't detect his scent the way he can pick up theirs. Also Timmy can travel around in day light for longer periods than Jasper n Clyde. In the dark night Timmy pondered on the fact that although he was somewhat different from the other Bats, he needed to harness the skill to keep himself safe. And for this he needs a place to train...

Saturday, 11 October 2008


'I can't go out there, they will beat me up!'
Flo pushed Sid away and peered her big goggle eyes through her Victorian windows. 'Blimey, it looks like a young lady.'
The five drunken men stamped and kicked the plastic, that contained little air around. They were like a pack of vicious wolves and attacked until the last air left the squashed form. Flo watched the men walk off and then ran out onto the cobble street. Sid grabbed his farmers cap and followed. They were lost for words as they're eyes cast upon what seemed as some sort of doll!
'Thought ya said it was a girl, love?'
Flow with her hands at her hips, 'Well it bleedin well looks like a girl don't it! Them men must have been more drunk than they though, or crazy. Fancy beating up a doll.'
Sid bent down with cracking knee's, 'It's a sex doll. Like the ones of tha telly.'
'Get out of it dirty sod, this is going in the trash. Stupid men. And don't think you're having a look at her bit, dirty perv. Now in the house with you.'
Sid did as he was told while flow disposed of the blow up doll in the trash. She tutted as she seen the mouth section for oral, butt hole for anal and Virgina hole for straight sex. Then she smiled as she read the dolls name tag. 'Huh, Trudy? Trudy grudy.'
The door was closed, and the night was alive once more. Sounds of inflating, Trudy's war cry...
The trash lid fell to the floor as she faced her revenge with five drunken men.
Trudy bounce stepped slowly, and moved silent. The only warning is her deflating sound...
And then your dead, she is alive. Trudy, THE BLOW UP DOLL MURDERS!

Friday, 10 October 2008

FAKE EYE'S by C.J.Emsley

'All these people booted n suited need to be shooted,
wannabee middle class scum makes my blood run.
You're no better than me, you hide behind fake eyes but at least I can see.'

Thursday, 9 October 2008

(Timmy 2, part two) FANGS OF DEATH! (Jasper & Clyde)

'So Clyde, this is where he speaks to them reader people. It's a blog of some kind, the writer has quite a following.'
'Yes, so he does. That won't harper our search Jasper, we will just 'hang' about here for a while and then we can plan our attack on that little runt Timmy!'
'I like it, sounds like a plan. That small, weak, fake Bat will inhale his last breath. I'm going to rip his ears off and tear his wings from that puny mouse torso, ha ha.'
'Ha ha, yes, yes. Just like we did to his parents, make lots of mess!'
'Even though he has reader buddies, that won't stop us...'

Wednesday, 8 October 2008


Bravery is shadowed as a result of bellowing from the caves below. People will search for you but only you will find yourself.
Where have you been? Planning to return all brand new with a sense of justice.
Where did you go? You're memories of that place are to strong for you to recall, sit still.
Are you coming back? They are waiting, good people for you to share life with. You don't feel ready just yet.
Hidden power keeps you buried, allowing just enough air for you to breath. You're tweaking it.
Now's not the right time to be 'unsilent' you have a few thing to tend to first.
It's dark down there, but at least you can see...


Friction causes more friction as your soul falls apart. Torn like skin from a chicken bone, you become your other side. You don't like what others have to say or offer and it's a waste of your acumltive memory to entertain such wastage. The feeling that holds you is one of power, you know more than they and can second guess the sly ones. You decide on your actions, you display a front as so to blend in. Loop holes form in the back of your clan chamber which cause you to remain hidden. You wish you were more brave in your approach to life. Your unseen one can dissolve like sugar deep into your being at any command. Yet resurfaces when you don't like it. Who is she, or he? Do you know them at all? They have friends too, like your friends, these are called Shadows. They relish in the winter months and study our private moments. Scrutinized disbelief embodies the prize wisdom that such force could fail to exist. It may be the only true friends we ever have...

Monday, 6 October 2008


We don't seem as close as before. I miss your warm nature, and happy vibe. You seem like a stranger sometimes, cold and distant. This feels wrong, I wish I could help. I crumble inside but hide it daily, you don't need my pain.
I can see your emptiness and your worth so much more. My words can't do much, that hurts.
Where have you gone? Don't forget to leave the bread crumbs because I will be waiting right here for you when your ready to return.
You were a lot happier once.
What changed you?


I'm drinking with him again, the Devil.
He's the only one on my level, the only one.
He listens and offers me advice, I act out his recommendations my vice.
He never lets me down or hurts me, I see.
He is within me as I face each day,
he will back me up on things that I say.
We are like brothers sacred the tomb,
like he grew with me inside of Mom's womb.
When I hate myself he picks me back up,
and sends me to punish someone else's luck.
He comes every October, for why I don't know,
funny how I've never had a big bro.
It's us against the world and we will prevail,
I'm just concerned about the hole in my sail.

Sunday, 5 October 2008



We won't entertain graphic illusions or bear witness to harmful instances?
We won't hear of any disrespect of others, or entertain idle gossip?
We won't talk ill of any persons, past or present and spread gossip?
Yeah right.


Wormy wormy don't bring germy germy,
Wormy wormy just squirmy squirmy.
Over looked and often sattened,
the undergrowth bears witness to what has happened.
Beneath the surface they graft for gardens,
unlike us, we selfish no pardons.
They have a place just as we,
we cast them off because we can't see.
But down below, in the dark damp soil,
they work and sliver as birds peck to boil.
One day soon they'll have their day,
hanging from our flesh like bits of hay.
They will eat us too, when we sleep in bed,
and turn us like soil, just as we destroyed their loyal.

Friday, 3 October 2008


FEB 06:
I summon up my strength, he's coming. He's trained and mean. He looks great,I say to myself. I wonder in the short seconds that I have, just before he launches his attacks...what on earth am I doing here? In this ring, in a Thai boxing gym. Then I remind myself of the up and coming fight I have. O, that must be it.
Should have blocked that punch, or was it an elbow? I move round I hear the bigger lads telling him to take it easy with me, that bothered me. Remain focused Emsley, he will take your head off. My legs feel cold in this October weather, but it's my birthday month. I feel fit and strong and I remind myself yet again of how much effort I spend keeping healthy.
I side step and give the Russian lad a jab, cross roundhouse. Our gloves are marinated in each others what. He makes me look skinny in comparison, but I battle on. Three minutes Duane, and you'll be out of there. Then I think of who I am, and that I'm really sparring myself. Just as a Scorpion will stand it's ground against larger adversary's, I begin my combinations. Enaud Yelsme is here!
With the three minutes over I know I lost the round, even the pats of respect I don't feel. I get changed and walk to my car very pleased that I conquered myself and my fears. And suffice to say that I went on to win my Kickboxing inter club.


'I want to keep him, please mommy?'
Sophie caught the passing glance from her step father, a big fellow with no hair. He sat at the table reading the paper and occasionally shoved forkfuls of curry into his mouth.
Sophie's mother passed a confirmation glance at her husband Eddie before the plate that he was eating off hit the wall.
'That fuckin shit Cat ain't livin under ma bloody roof!' Eddie stood up, face red like a whoopee cushion.
'Ed, please.' Begged Sophie's mother, shielding her daughter.
Eddie reached for her throat, and not for the first time. She was frail enough as it was without this. 'Who tha spit ya talkin to? Ya fuckin hooker, I run this house! Not you, and not that little bitch over there!'
'Mommy!' Cried Sophie screaming.
Eddie turned his anger towards the stray Cat that Sophie had found in the woods. It cowered from him, hissing from beneath the table.
'Ello shit Cat, come to ya uncle Ed. Ill twist ya cuntin neck!'
The black Cat scratched out at Eddie, and then made a dash for the kitchen window which was slightly a jar.
'Pissing thing, glad it's gone. Right, I'm going the flippin pub. Don't wait up!'
Sophie clung on to her mother as she stroked her throat, they were at peace once more.
That night Sophie sat at her window wondering where her new friend was. Her Mother lay weeping into a pillow, a pillow that had cushioned her face during rape, more than once from her husband. She missed her own mother, which forged her to raise Sophie well. Sophie could hear her mother, she knew she should never venture into the woods. Not in October. Strange things happen in October, bad things. She remembered her grandmother before she passed away, and of all the tales that she told. Like the one about the Witch who lived deep in those woods, the Witch who helped rid the town of murders and rapists many years ago. Sophie slid into her bed and curled up, she struggled to sleep that night. This night could be like many others, when a stepfather comes in drunk and does things to a little girl that no father should ever do.
'That's the sound of the men...working on the train...gang...hic'
Eddie sang as he staggered along the old dirt road from Abbots bar. Six double whiskeys, three pints and five bottles of Budweiser were enough to make him happy. The large man wrestled with the idea of taking a shortcut. After reassuring himself that 'he ain't scared of trees,' he entered the plum forest.
His twisted mind somehow put up pedophile images of lustful pleasures, regarding his step daughter. So what, he thought? His father did it to him, so whats the harm, right?
An owl brought him back to the forest, he shouted at the darkness.
'Fuckin birds, kill ya, lot of ya!'
He stumbled over a branch and hit the forest floor, the leaves stuck to him like vacuum fluff. That's when he saw it.
His blurry vision held him back, but he got to his feet.
'Now I'm gona get ya. lickle shite.'
It was a black Cat. Like the one Sophie had found, sitting by a tree as black as the night. Two green eyes was all that Eddie could make out, but he knew it was the one. Almost as if laughing at him the Cat began licking his paw.
Eddie fumbled around the undergrowth until he found a stone. But it was too late.
A fatal swipe had found it's mark on Eddie's throat, he clutched at the stinging wounds. They burned like very hot water and he gasped for air. He could hear very light steps around him, he was scared now and turning constantly. His eyes did their best to make out the dark. He heard a hiss and started to run.
He didn't know which direction he was headed in, a loud 'meow' froze him to the spot. He suddenly felt something brush past his leg so he kicked out. Then a sharp pain consumed his entire shin.
Eddie was down yet again, he made a crawl for it. He could see the black Cat strolling along side him. There were lights up ahead, he was getting hopeful. The pain was excruciating, he guessed that the Cat had bit into his shin. Another swipe grazed Eddies forehead, this time barley missing his eyes. He began to smell his own blood. He fought on towards the lights which appeared to be a cabin. In his unfit state, his mind managed to conceive the fact that he had never seen this cabin before, despite hunting in these woods. The Cat urinated into Eddie's eyes. The stinging wastage blurred his iris and caused fast flicker blinking, there was no time for his thinking.
Eddie felt a hand on his cheek, and a voice. An old lady's voice. 'Relax now my son, you have to pay for your sins. Onyx, be done with him.'
The Cat pounced onto Eddie's face removing his nose with it's sharp claws. The swipes were like that of a kung fu expert, swift and fast.
Blood had covered what was left of Eddies face and leaves stuck to his exposed flesh. His screams fell faint as his last breath was removed by the Witch's broom, lodged deep down into his windpipe. It was dark once more, no cabin, no Cat, no Eddie.
Weeks had come and gone and Eddie was on milk cartons all across town. Another addition to the missing persons list, except he won't be missed. Sophie sat on the bench and watched her mother put some flowers on her Grandmothers grave. A black Cat appeared from behind the headstone, it brushed up against her.
'Sophie, Your friends back.'
Sophie ran over pulling off her little blue cotton gloves, she stroked the Cat which purred back at her. 'Mommy, what's this tag say?'
Her mother studied the silver tag, 'I didn't notice this tag before Sophie. Is it the same Cat?'
Sophie looked at the green eyes smiling back, 'Yes, mommy. I'm sure!'
Well his name is Onyx, darling.' Replied her mother tickling Onyx's chin.
Sophie clapped her hands, 'I like Onyx. Can we keep him mommy?'
'As long as he's not owned, yes my darling, we can most certainly keep him.'
Sophie hugged her mother. Who seemed to frown in thought.
'Funny that Sophie. I'm sure your grandmother once had a Cat named Onyx...'

Thursday, 2 October 2008


So, your in that horrible place that continues to rape the fucking life from you. Nobody truly understands this pain but you. They possibly can't. You are all alone and hate the very reflection of the emptiness that you have become. You fail to see a way out from this hole, it's endless. You fail to see that you are a success, because it was your fathers sperm that fertilized the egg. You conquered the uterus. You made it out against all the other sperm cells and came first. You love your family but choose to turn to a razor blade, or a noose for reasoning. You search for uncovered answers that may complete your puzzle. You fail to recognize that with your last breath, your parents have failed all this time. You are out of it, but your families just began. You create your own ending, so others have their beginnings. Fuck it anyway, you have been there all along, only you. You assess and ponder, watching the rain watching you right back through a gloomy pane. You have thought long and hard, and know whats right in your heart of hearts. You feel ready now don't you? Psyched up, no one knows whats coming, you will show them. It's time.


There they go again with the verbal pigeon mess. A p*** take in it's honest form, pure and untampered. So, this is their true colours then? Liers, the lot of them, they deserve to burn. Who handed the right of god over for their dirty hands to molest. Filth sprayers. I'm on to you, I am the predator, and don't you forget that.
It's a shame you feel that way, the manner in which you act. The way in which you carry out your frustration. Don't give them lore energy to grow. Instead take it away from them, make them feel there's two options...
Let them beat you, or
Talk to the hand.

Wednesday, 1 October 2008

TIMMY part one

Hello there readers. My name is Timmy, yes, that's me in the photo. As you can see I'm a Vampire Bat, though not a nasty one. Truth is I'm born into a family of carnivorous Bats, with a thirst for human blood. Our breed are very rare and we can talk, this could help me survive. Sadly one month ago my Ma and Pa and baby sister were slaughtered by my two older step brothers, Jasper and Clyde. They didn't look kindly on our kind not being vicious like them. I managed to get away and have flew from San Fran Sisco, across Italy and am now hanging about in Brum. I have to keep running as my step brothers are hunting for me and will kill me. I watched them chew the eye lids off an old lady outside the post office just the other day. I actually live off fruit, so you can call me a mixed up fruit Bat. I hope that I can be safe in the hands of you readers out there, can I? I am only ten years old in Bat years, so I'm just a baby. Well, got to fly now peeps, they will be getting closer.
I'm so frightened...


My inner self fights for it's undeserved freedom, begging me to unleash it's squirm on all humanity. The pain causes headaches that split through my skull cavities, pressing my internal energy around my being and out onto paper. I write, write as so to express myself. He knows my every thought and movement. I cannot hide from him, he is always there. Watching, spying, seeking. We were born together and will die together, he is my best friend, my closest enemy. If only I could let him out to chat to, instead of him tormenting me with his wit and skill. He is as deep as I and as strong, he knows when I'm lying, and telling the truth. He's forcing, ordering me to press these keys to my PC. I'm quite jealous of him and at the same time proud to have him. He gets all the girls! This complex side we all have, this darkness...
Now I know he's taken over for October, I am Duane Emsley no more. Ive become enauD yelsmE. He has made me very popular though I must say, so that can't be a bad thing?