I AM A SENSITIVE PERSON

TAINTED LOVE...

Alex sat slumped in the phone box, his almost empty Vodka bottle in one hand and the receiver in the other. He tried to focus on the digits through graffiti and beer goggles, the rain was thunderous. He cried into his sweaty palms as the insecure past tugged violently at his heart. He was alone again. Chav's sped past on mini BMX's bringing noises of joy, as Alex stared insanely at his reflection looking back. He hated himself more than ever, his only friend was the half empty bottle of Vodka. Alex punched out at the booth window, but it didn't help. He could taste his salty tears in a cocktail of alcohol and rain. He cried out words of regrets, mistakes of letting her close to him. Didn't she know how much he loved her, how he was always there. Always here?

His heart felt to be pumping more anger around his over weight body. Why was she doing this too him? She could never understand could she? His hurt, his childhood abuse? His fears. But he had seen it coming. The early warning signs that girls are so unique at. The dismissive blanking, the flirting with his friends. He would always try, only to push her away further. Her cold comments had left him bare and raped him of his self belief. He fought to stand up. Alex let the bottle slip from his grip, shattering around his feet. He began dialling Susan's number 0-7...his head met his forearm resting on the panel. He felt weak, tired. Maybe it was the antidepressants he'd swallowed earlier, maybe? He had to escape his prison, and find space from himself. Alex crouched down and chose a piece of the glass that lay in the puddle.

He screamed at the night, 'I LOVE YOU!'

And then he ran the sharp glass across both wrists, watching his life drip out as he quietly slipped away.

Kerry held up her new dress for Susan to judge, they were off up town.

'Well, wakey wakey girl.'

'Soz Kez, I was just thinking about Alex.' she sighed, staring at the ceiling.

Kerry rested her hands at the hips. 'Why? He was a weirdo anyway, to possessive for one.'

'I know. But I have been a bitch too him lately, and I regret cheating.'

'Do you want him back?' asked Kerry, turning to the mirror.

Susan sat up on the bed. 'I think so, K. '

Kerry began getting her make up out, 'Tell you what. Come out still, we'll have a laugh. You might get lucky.' she watched Susan play with her guilt. 'Listen, one night of freedom, then ring Alex up tomorrow, say your sorry, blah-blah-blah, end of story.'

Susan stood up, 'Okay Kez, I just hope he can forgive me...'

I CAN BE AN IDIOT

'O, THAT DUANE IS A NUTTER. HE'S MAD, A PSYCHO.'

'Really? When did you hear of me going around harming others?'

'HE'S A BIT WEIRD/STRANGE.'

'I do have a yampy sense of humour, but don't we all in our own individual manners?'

'PEOPLE DON'T UNDERSTAND HIM.'

'True, I have been misunderstood in the past. That's your view of me.'

'HE'S DIFFERENT.'

Yes, I am me.'

'HE HAS A VIVID IMAGINATION.'

'Thank you.'

'NO MORE PUTMAN CHANGES!' by Damien Wright & Anthony White and...me.

DEDICATED TO ALL THE BLOG OF SHADOW FOLLOWERS!!

'Hey, hey, yo yo...let's go an bust dis!

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NO MORE PUTMAN CHANGES!!

SWEET DREAMS ARE MADE OF THIS

'My view point of point view can't be brought.

Face each day with a trained thought.

Through ages of wisdom in which I sought,

a Code that is Morse wont begin to crack my course!'

THE SUN GIVES TAN TO THE BATHERS

My holiday in Tenerefe was so relaxing. I enjoyed the feeling that came to me when couples, young and old strolled past me in love. I was in paradise. Everyone's needs a break, although nothing beats going abroad, there are some lovely places here in the U.K. Me and Nichola would watch the sun go down by the beach, it was like another world and maybe it was. I had time to reflect and think, my mind wondered searching for energy. Ive had some interesting thoughts come visit me as I sat on the hotel balcony, but that's for another blog.
Happy hols!

I'M SO PROUD OF YOU.

I'm so proud of you. I'm proud of the things that you are and what you will achieve. I know you will find your own way, your own truth. You will find happiness and make it your haven on earth. Your gentle little soul with grow to accumulate endless pastures as far as your mind can vision. I will take care of you and support you forever, I promise. I have faith in that you will come to things in your own time. I'm excited and at the same time scared for you. Though, I only have to hear you sleep on my chest, your little breaths singing to me... 'I'll be okay Daddy.'
I'm so proud of you.