Mom, where are you now? I didn't want you to go away. When I close my eyes I can hear you, you are still here. I know you longed to hug me, and tell me that you cared. You would show it in other ways, your disguise as such, but I could sense that you loved me so much. You would make me a wrestling ring for my figures and a batman cape, I would drive my matchbox cars along your legs as you watched sons n daughters. I would be excited as you decorated the flat every Christmas, and in the same instant, tear it all down and make me cry. We held that mother to son bond, we got on well, and then not so well. You would say you was proud that we shared the same birth sign, and in the same instant you would make me cry. I was so young mom, too small to understand. I could look after you now, your number one man. But you left something behind for me didn't you mom? I couldn't see it but know I can feel it. You have blessed me with a creativeness that's known as your sting, you gave it me so I could protect myself, that's why I'm like you. You left Crystal with the sign of the Bull, because you knew that she needs to find her strength and beauty within. When I was chased by a dog, you would stand my ground for me, that was your way. I now see out of your eyes, from looking out of my own. You carried me with you until 11pm 30Th October 1978, and I thank you that. You was my vessal into this world, you gave me my life.
I feared you...
I miss you...
I love you...
I forgive you...
I want you back mom x
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